Firstborn

The firstborn. The pride and joy. The heartthrob and heartache. The most spoiled. The most anticipated. The biggest brother. The first son. The first teenager.

Oh, this boy, this headstrong teenager who is determined to prove his decisions are right, who wants to be a grown up but is still a boy, he is testing me in ways I cannot explain.

This whole parenting a teenager thing is a whole new world to me and I have to say, it's not my favorite phase BY FAR!

I mean, where is the manual? How do I do this?

I'm sure it is different for every parent, but please tell me that it is a struggle to some extent for everyone and that it doesn't last long and that I will survive?! So many people sugarcoat things and honestly who does that help? I need people to be real, to share struggles. Not that I don't want to hear and share in joys and accomplishments, I do, but I also want to know that your teenage boys mouth off and don't turn in homework and don't wear winter coats. You know what I mean.

When my now 13 year old was a baby, I stayed home with him and every little struggle that we encountered seemed like a monumental catastrophe; potty training, tantrums, hitting...until I joined a mom's group and found out that other little boys were doing the same things and, wait for it, doing things that were way worse than mine. Ah, he's normal and I'm not the only one who's struggling.

Fast forward 13 years. People don't share. Maybe because 13 year olds don't like play groups anymore and mom's don't get together much because we are so busy running our children to practices and school events. I don't know, but it just feels kind of lonely.

Some experienced moms and teachers do offer up some advice, but most of it goes like this, 'Oh, teen years are terrible. It can last for 1 year or 5 years or they eventually move out'! Ahhh! Some of it though is good and real and I just soak that up.

So, I read books about boys and teens and parenting and listen to anyone willing to share, email teachers and coaches, arrange conferences, check homework, check texts, check bookbags, worry, and pray a lot.

I love the picture I posted. I love that smile. I love that boy.